Some years ago, I received a copy of Tom Hegg’s little book entitled: A Cup of Christmas Tea. Beautifully illustrated by Warren Hanson, the story depicted a young man’s reluctance to visit his elderly aunt at Christmas. Her Christmas card contained the message: “Of course I will understand completely if you can’t come to visit, but if you find you have some time how wonderful if we could have a little chat and share a cup of Christmas tea.”
Overcoming his reluctance, the visit would bring him memories of past holidays, and the realization of how the human spirit can triumph over adversity. “When she poured two cups, she smiled. And then she handed one to me and we settled back and had a cup of Christmas tea.”
All of my elderly aunts are long dead, but my memories of visiting them and sharing a “cup of tea” continue to bring me great satisfaction. Perhaps it was the wisdom of old age that kept me connected with them, but I admit the cups of tea and the home-made cookies made it easier to absorb family history and to learn patience. Stories of my grandfather’s playful comments about my grandmother’s brewing expertise would be good for a laugh: “Kitty, this tea is so strong a mouse could trot on it!” Surrounded by women who loved me unconditionally, I have learned to be open to change and tolerant of differences. Love would transcend ideological opposites, and humor would always triumph over confusion and bitterness.
Even in the most inconvenient times, my mother would say: “Joe, let’s have a cup of tea.” The invitation to slow down and to brew a cup of tea would be the signal to focus on what was most important, a chance to talk. Maybe it was this invitation to “tea and sympathy” that allowed the most daunting of tasks to be put into proper perspective. My mother had the ability to laugh in the midst of chaos and to forgive in the midst of confusion; both traits I have come to cherish and nurture over a cup of tea.
Today we are celebrating the Feast of the Holy Family. As I write this column, a lovely source of inspiration (besides a cup of tea) remains in front of me. A lovely hand carved depiction of the Holy Family given to me many years ago brings to life a scene of Mary and Joseph holding hands with Jesus. The inscription in Italian reads: “Giuseppe, Gesu, Maria.” The simplicity of the wood carving found in a curio shop carries with it a desire to “normalize” Joseph and Mary as affectionate parents, holding onto Jesus and finding strength in one another. With a little bit of imagination, I can see a pot of tea brewing in the background!
The Feast of the Holy Family normally falls on the Sunday after Christmas. There is nothing ancient about the Feast; it was only added to the liturgical calendar by Pope Benedict XV in 1921. However, to be historically fair, the “family events” that comprise the early lives of Jesus, Mary and Joseph were drawn from the first century Canonical Scriptures. Combining accounts of the birth of Jesus in Bethlehem, the flight of the Holy Family into Egypt and their return to Nazareth comprise the content for today’s gospel (Matthew 2:13-23). While the chronology of these historical events remains a bit hazy, both in the gospel accounts of Matthew and Luke (2:1-20), the non-canonical works, especially the Gospel of Thomas, offer some colorful childhood accounts of Jesus and the everyday life of the Holy Family. Even though the apocryphal accounts offer imaginative and entertaining glimpses into early Jewish family life, they do not pass muster in the world of serious biblical scholarship.
The chaotic history surrounding the pregnancy of Mary and the dilemmas faced by Joseph make for dramatic reading. With angelic apparitions and interventions, the guiding wisdom of God becomes more in evidence. Out of the crisis of Mary’s pregnancy and the reluctance of Joseph to marry her, we see an opportunity for the plan of salvation to unfold. It is in the mysteriousness of the improbable that the Angel Gabriel announces to Mary, “All things are possible with God.” Now this would be the time for a good, strong cup of tea!
The Feast of the Holy Family offers plenty of opportunities to explore hardship as well as saving grace. The hard luck accounts of Joseph and Mary trying to find a place to give birth to Jesus parallel the plight of immigrants searching for a safe place in an indifferent world. Placing trust in God becomes the operative theme of birthing Jesus in humble surroundings rather than in privileged circumstances. Perseverance in the face of danger as the Holy Family made their escape into Egypt finds its counterpoint in the overwhelming circumstances of immigrant families searching for a safe haven .
Taking seriously the problems of immigrant families, all of them must be treated with dignity, respect, and a sense of belonging, even if we can’t solve the problem. I think of the wonderful scene where the little boy, who was playing the inn keeper in the Christmas pageant, rattled off his refusal statement to Joseph and Mary: “Sorry, but there is no room in the inn!” The saving grace came when he adlibbed: “But if you would like to come in for a drink that would be alright.” Maybe he had in mind a cup of tea and sympathy. We must do what we can do.
Dorothy Day, founder of the Catholic Worker Movement, was fond of saying: “We may never see the good outcome of the good we can do, but we must do it anyway.” Finding a way to persevere in “doing good” seems a reasonable way to operate. Encouraging families to find hope in the willingness of governments and churches to help solve problems, demands that institutions move beyond rhetoric and find ways to actually help. Rebuilding the Kingdom of God on this earth, the family will be the glue that will hold it all together.
Maybe it is time for a Christmas cup of tea. Despite the tragedies and grief filled losses that might surround us, there is so much to be thankful for as we move into this next year. Rediscovering an attitude of gratitude might just be worth taking some time out to risk having a cup of Christmas tea.
Peace and Happy New Year,
Fr. Joe Gillespie, O.P.