Today we celebrate the Third Sunday of Advent, also known as Gaudete Sunday. The word Gaudete or Rejoice is the first word of the Latin introit or opening song for Mass today: “Gaudete in Domino semper: iterum dico, Gaudete” or “Rejoice in the Lord always; again, I say, rejoice.”
Despite and maybe because of this call “to rejoice” many people anticipate Christmas with a sense of dread because feelings tend to intensify this time of year including feelings of pain, grief, stress, or loneliness. To them, Christmas is more of a burden than a blessing. There may be an empty chair at their Christmas dinner table because a loved one has passed away. A chair may have been removed because a loved one will not be at the table either by choice, out of necessity or even by request. Still others may not even have a table to sit at because they are unhoused or unloved. Because of the empty chair at my table, I too have dreaded the forced Christmas cheer.
Five years ago, on November 28, two days after Thanksgiving and ten days before the first Sunday of Advent my dear niece, Marieke died very unexpectedly. She was 29 years old. She was smart, spirited, beautiful, idealistic and an absolute delight to be with. I was devastated at her untimely death. COVID prevented me from attending her funeral in Belgium. I was thousands of miles away from my family and I felt helpless, sad, and even angry. The fact that we were about to begin the joyous season of Advent and Christmas did nothing to ease my sorrow, on the contrary.
I remember walking into a store early that December where I was greeted by a jolly Santa with “ho-ho-hos” and “Merry Christmas.” Even through his COVID mandated mask his greeting exuded cheerfulness. I walked out, sat in my jeep and cried. There was no room for “ho-ho-hos” and even for “Merry Christmas” in my heart. I resented the jolly Santa. I resented the societal norm to be joyful. I even resented the liturgical mandate “to rejoice” on Gaudete Sunday because I didn’t differentiate between the genuine joy Gaudete Sunday calls for, and the “ho-ho-ho” joy promoted by society.
There are many different types of joy. There is the joy we experience through our senses such as when eating a favorite meal, watching an amazing movie or listening to a timeless aria. There is the joy of achievement when we accomplish certain goals. There is the joy of harmony we may experience when hiking through nature or working in a garden. There is the joy of growth experienced through learning new things. Every one of these types of joy is nice to experience but is somewhat superficial and rather fleeting.
According to the late Pope Francis in a Gaudete Sunday homily, there is one type of joy that is much deeper and longer lasting than any of the others. It is not the result of something we feel, sense or accomplish, rather it results from living a life of generosity and charity, following the example of Jesus. This kind of joy does not flow from what happens to us but rather from what we do for others.
Today, on Gaudete Sunday, despite still missing Marieke terribly I can rejoice because I know the difference between passing joy and abiding joy. My joy today is neither fake nor fleeting. My joy is deep and abiding because I rejoice in God’s generous and gratuitous love revealed in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. If we truly grasp the meaning of the salvific incarnation of our God which we celebrate at Christmas, we cannot but rejoice, even through our tears of sadness and pain. And because I recognize Marieke’s generous and gratuitous love, I also rejoice in her. And I give thanks for the difference she has made, for the many lives she has touched and for her abiding love for her family, her friends, her students, her animals and our planet.
Rejoice in the Lord, always.
Johan van Parys, PhD
Managing Director of Ministries/ Director of Liturgy & Sacred Arts